wala lang

school day tomorrow. boo!!!

i have saturday class. boo!!!!

my saturday class is 1-7pm. booo!!!!!

weeeh

well, well, well...

i'm back. i dont know how the heck how.

naka-sign in lang ako. simple as that. eh dati di naman kaya.

oh, well.

hopefully, this continues so you can see more of me.

wahahaha...who wants to see more of me??

;)

the hunt for the skeleton mode

so, here i am again, in the ust main library, specifically the internet room...just to post on my blog. hahaha. that's a lie! i will not waste my time coming here para lang malaman niyo kung gaano ka-boring ang life ko.

im actually here to take an online exam in lts. our internet connection at home kasi is so bad that i flunked the last time i took the exam there. pero may topak din yun site ng ust. paano ba naman kasi. i answered question #1, tapos ang tagal ng submission so i logged out. may ten minutes time limit kasi ang test. then i logged in again and answered question #2, and lo ang behold! i was surprised to see the warning sign na 1 minute na lang ang natitira! where did the other minutes went eh nag-logged out nga ako?! even if i dont read the questions and just answer randomly, i would fail because the connection is really bad. ten out of ten nga ako, i exceeded my time limit by two minutes naman. 3 questions lang yata yun pumasok sa ten minutes. so im 3 out of 10.

so...i emailed our instructor last august 9. wondering if he can explain the "mystery of the missing minutes." but, he didnt reply. how rude! so i emailed him again last week. still no reply! bahala siya! it is so not fault! sabi niya pag may problema during the exam, we should logged out. that's what i did! if there are other problems, we should email him. that's what i did! boo talaga!!!

well anyway, that was weeks ago.

did i ever mention...no, i believe i did not...i am...the ...well, im the class president. wahahaha. im not trying to be humble here, but im not president material. me no have leadership skills. kaya lang ako nanalo kasi lahat ng magagaling, officers na ng mga orgs so di na raw sila pwde. and another reason is that majority of my classmates this year are my classmates last year. so siyempre, mas kilala nila ako compared to other nominees from the other sections last year.

well anyway, the reason i told you that so that you'll understand why im the one who went looking for the missing skeleton for 30 minutes. haha. di ko alam kung totoong skeleton ba siya o plastic model lang, basta nag-skeleton hunting talaga ako sa buong medicine bldg (our bldg together with future doctors and nurses). gusto kasi ng professor namin na may skeleton model habang tinuturo niya ang skeletal system.

so ayun. i came to school 45 minutes earlier. went to the dean's office to ask for permission. and after some begging, pumayag na rin. so i went to a room in the first floor, kasi nasa room na yun lagi ang skeleton model. wala. so tiningnan ko lahat ng classrooms sa first floor. actually, silip silip lang kasi may mga klase nung time na yun. nakakahiya kung makita ako ng mga teacher. wala. so i went back to the dean's. wala na yun nakausap ko kanina, si kuya jess. so umakyat ako sa 6th floor para hanapin siya kasi dun siya minsan. wala. punta uli ako dean's. dun na siya. tinanong ko kung saan yun model. sabi niya first floor. sabi ko wala. pumasok siya sa isang classroom para tanungin. sa room 609 o 607 daw. 6th floor po yun. so umakyat uli ako. may nakasalubong akong friend so may kasama na ako ngaun. walang skeleton sa buong 6th floor!

grr...baba ako 4th floor. paxok ako sa gross ana lab. may nakita akong cadaver. malayo kaya i cant describe much. maitim siya. payat. tuyo. konti lang buhok. hindi nakakatakot tingnan. mas nakakatakot pa tingnan kung may cover siya. haha. malaki yun lab kaya may 4 akong skeleton model na nakita sa mga sulok ng room. my friend and i were tempted to steal them. pero di na namin tinuloy ang aming balak kasi baka multuhin pa kami. so baba uli kami. buti na lang nandun pa rin si kuya jess. sabi niya di raw pwede kunin yun mga model dun sa gross ana lab. boo! so nag-suggest siya sa room 209. buti na lang meron na dun. haha. pero di kasi siya 100% skeletal model. may mga muscles, nerves, ek ek pa siya.

so the problem now, paano namin i-aakyat yun sa 6th floor? buti na lang nakasabit siya sa pole at may gulong sa ibaba. nakakahiya kaya! lahat ng mga tao tumitingin sa amin. i am not used with all the attention! haha. tapos ako, clumsy person pa. i kept on tripping sa mga gulong. yun friend ko tumatawa na lang.

since yun bldg namin connected sa ust hospital, we were able to go in the hospital and used the elevator there to go up the 6th floor. yun babae nga sa elevator, muntik nang sumigaw nang makita ang skeleton model. tinatanong kami kung totoo ba raw yun. haha. hindi po namin alam. pero mukha siya totoo. except for the muscles and nerves (na mukhang rubber bands).

and so finally, we were able to bring the model in our classroom. buti na lang di nag-absent yun prof (kasi madalas siyang nawawala), kundi sayang lahat ng pagod namin ng friend ko.

nakakatuwa yun prof namin sa biosci. pero that's another post na lang. kasi may time limit kami dito sa internet room! ciao people!

i opine that he's a moron

i just want to complain about a certain english teacher (he's not yet in the professor level) who has been teaching in ust for a few years now. i dont hate him. i just dont like him. yes, im judgemental. but i believe that my reason is valid enough.

i don't like him not because he doesnt know what "opine" means, but because he refuse to take a few seconds of his precious time to look at the dictionary and see what that word means. as an english teacher, it is reasonable to believe that he has a dictionary. maybe even one on his bedside table. but how come when he saw an unfamiliar word a mere student wrote, he quickly considered it as a mistake? why cant he check the dictionary for the possiblity that that word may exist in the freaking english language?

i wrote that word in a freaking essay. essay, okay. it's a written form about opinions. so naturally, i wrote: " i opined that....", and that ass put a questioned mark on the word opine and considered it as a mistake. hey, this is not about my grade. this is about my pride. a pride he trampled on because he indirectly considered me a moron. yes, im a moron. but im not that moronic not to know the word opine! just because im a mere student and he's a teacher doesnt mean that he cant learn a new vocabulary from me!

mwahahaha

sa main lib ako ng ust. may internet room dito. libre! actually, sa tuition namin kinuha. haha.

now that im here, i dont know what to say.

this week is exam week. im suppose to be studying for physics right now. it's so hard..............................

my life....is either on the crossroads, or just..lost.

who cares

1st day

what's wrong with my blog? sometimes i cant sign in. and sometimes i can. obviously.

first day of school??

useless. ang haba ng pila sa entrance ng building namin. may nagchecheck kasi kung may fever tsuva. isang kilometro na nga yata yun pila eh. di pa yun single file. sa huli, dahil nga marami ang mala-late, tinanggal na nila yun checking. haha. walang kwenta talaga.

dalawa lang dapat ang klase today kasi may misa sa umaga. yun isa, di sinipot ng titser, yun isa naman..wala lang. sarado raw yun lab. haha. kaya nga walang kwenta eh.

sayang pamasahe. pero yun isa kong kaklase, sabi sayang daw perfume niya. ewan ko dun sa metrosexual na yun. haha.

halu-halo kami this year. di ginawang alphabetical. so, i still have friends. wahahaha. yun nga lang daming strangers.

ang highlight today...may naligaw ng gwaping ng freshman. english speaking. galing mindanao. yun metrosexual/bisexual kong kaklase (mentioned above), biglang bumait. di ko na idedetalye, basta ang ending, mukhang may bago na siyang boy toy. wahahaha..

nobody commented on my eyes. bwahaha.

this is embarrassing

i do not want it. okay, im lying. i want it just a little, since i sometimes complained about my drooping eyelids. i have friends in ust who sometimes ask if im sleepy or what.i even had a teacher who called me to recite because i looked bored to her. im not! it's just my eyes!

but it seems not only the people in ust notice my eyes. my mother also. well, she should, she's my mother after all. and so, she insisted that i have blepharoplasty, a.k.a. eyelid surgery. i forgot the chinese term, even though i heard it at least 50 times already.

it all began when my sister started complaining about her eyelids. she actually had the same operation when she was 15 years old. she did it few weeks before her high school graduation. her doctor was recommended by our paternal aunt who had her 3 daughters undergo the same operation. i guess it runs in the family. well anyway, my sister was complaining and she wants to undergo the same operation again. so my mother brought her to a plastic surgeon in metropolitan medical center. her previous surgeon is already retired. my little brother and i had to tag along because our car is still not in sshs, so we have nowhere to go but come with them. so this plastic surgeon, dr. sia tiong gam, looked at her eyelids while i tried to stop my brother from destroying the clock in the room. i dont know what's wrong with him and why he seemed so fascinated with the ticking clock.

anyway, the doctor advised my sister not to undergo the procedure because she already did it once and the second time might make it worse instead. my mother, thinking that her time is wasted, called me to ask the doctor if "i" could have the surgery instead. the doc indeed agreed that my eyes dont look lively enough. i told my mom im not so sure about the procedure so we left. but i guess my mother got bothered with the doctor's opinion so she started calling hospitals and looking for surgeons who can do the procedure. she even called belo and calayan. haha. but she doesnt like belo because, well, you saw belo's eyes. not exactly a good example.

i told my mom yes to the operation if she could find a good doctor and at the same time cheap. well, she did the challenge and went back to sia tiong gam. and told the doc to do it this monday. THIS MONDAY! as in, yesterday. of course, i was surprise. im gonna meet you guys this friday and saturday. my eyes, i mean my eyelids, wouldnt be a pretty sight even on that day. but it was already book and my mother insists the earlier the better so i would look more normal on enrollment day on may 27. thanks mom.

and so, here i am now. a monster. my chicken ass brother got scared the first time he saw me yesterday. my sister brought him to my room to see me and all he did was grabbed my sister's hand like a 2 year old and talked to my sister in this little voice, "baba na tayo, atsi." he's 11 years old for pete's sake!

cant exactly blame the dude. i also dont like looking at myself in the mirror. morbid. my eyelids are swelling and colored violet. each of my eyelid is sewn together making them bulge more. and because i really want to gross you out, there's dry blood on the sewn part making it look more disgusting. my eyes look smaller and until now, they are still not...in equal sizes? basta, hindi siya pantay! i dont know why.

the operation took more than an hour. i dont know why again. my sister's took less than an hour and hers was painless. guess it depends on the surgeon. the operation took place at the new bldg. at the back. on the 13th floor. lucky me. a nurse asked me to wear a hospital gown over my street clothes and asked me to change my sandals with the slippers the hospital provided. they asked me to lie down the operating table? bed? a nurse cleaned my face with a lot of...tissue wipes? haha, i dont really know. two big glaring lights blinded me when they opened. surprisingly, i did not get scared. then i saw doc sia tiong gam, complete with a cap and mask. thank God, i did not see him with a scalpel. i just blinked up at him while he talked to his assistant, a guy who flirts a lot with the nurses. a nurse came up to the doc and asked him about numbers. sizes apparently. sizes of what? i found out later it's the injection. or size of the syringe. i dont know. they did my right eyelid first. i was awake the whole time and the only pain i felt was something slicing on my eyelids. i also smelled different things like pentelpen and something burning.

most of the time, i just listened to the conversation around me. the surgeon was concentrating and did not talk much. but his assistant? the flirt. he talked, joked, cajoled, teased and did other verbal actions that got the two nurses (one married, the other one graduating next next week i think) giggling and flirting back. the assistant only got a little quiet when the surgeon asked him for the skin hooker. i dont know what it looks like but it apparently hooks my eyelid and pulls it open. it doesnt hurt because the slicing part i first felt in the beginning turns out to be the big injection, which has anaesthesia, piercing through my skin. ugh. anyway, my eyes were open most of the time when they got at the sewing part. i saw the thread. i saw the tool they used as a needle, and well, i just told myself to calm down and not panic. i think that i was basically expressionless throughout the whole procedure. poker face. haha. yep, expressionless even when i heard the assistant made a sound because the thread broke. even when i felt my own blood run down my face. even when i saw blood on the clothe the nurse was holding. thinking back now, i dont know how i manage it.

i talked to God a couple of times. basically asked him to make everything all right.
and yeah, i guess everything will be fine---after many weeks. thank God the bleeding stop today, yesterday, i can still feel blood dripping from my operation, scared my mother. parang im crying blood kasi. haha.

im actually so pathetic yesterday. i had nothing to do. i cant read book because my eyes have trouble focusing. i cant even look up straight because it hurts, so im always looking down. angie, this is the reason why i cant ym with you yesterday, i have trouble looking at the screen. haha. i feel better now. ponstan works! i dont feel any pain right now, except if i sneeze or laugh out loud. the only irritating thing so far is when my sister and mother stares at me like i sprout horns on my head. my brother still refuses to come near me. his loss.

right now, i always have my sunglass and eyeglass with me. even when im in the cr. i just dont feel right exposing my morbidness, if there's such a word, to people around me.

when you see me, dont stare.