the dastard

school starts on wednesday, the 11. actually, it's on the 10th, but since im not catholic and have no wish to attend mass, im attending on wednesday.

frankly, im not that depressed anymore. im just...scared. i think that most of us is dreading this "new chapter of our lives," but what can we do but go on. because in the back of our minds, we're aware that if we do not pursue this "next chapter", we will regret it in the future.

and what is the future? nothing but bleakness. we can only hope what faces us there, but we can never really be too sure.

im trying to remember all the inspirational message the guidance and counseling center kept on feeding us...and i cant remember anything...well, except that life is all about the journey or something like that.

the question is: are we enjoying the journey?

me? i dont know. because just thinking about my journey from the med building to the gym is frightening for me already.

im afraid to get lost. if i end up the wrong way, literally and figuratively, i wouldn't know what to do. yes, i know God is there. But i'll be honest. my spiritual life--it's kinda sinking. i believe in Him. i just dont ask Him for directions. Yeah, a silly thing to do for someone who doesn't know where to go.

as usual, the conclusion is: im an idiot.
on the bright side, im smart enough to be aware of my idiocy.