ass

as usual, i feel so stupid. i lost my eyeglasses. you know, the pink one where there are multiple x's displayed at the side. i lost it in school. it's gone. forever. and just this monday, i lost my umbrella. actually, it's my sis' umbrella. i havent told her. i dont really care. ugh, i hate my life.

how am i going to survive now? i have my contacts, but i am still more comfortable with my glasses. you can put it on and take it off whenever and wherever you like.

so yeah, when i got home yesterday, i felt depressed. sigh, i have such low coping mechanism. and so what i did is played pinball. pinball is good for depression. you just press two keys and watch the bouncing ball. your face remains expressionless. even the upbeat music on my radio didnt cheer me up.

then my stupid sister came. she demanded that she needs to use the computer. duh, i was here first. she got mad and the tattle tale called momsy to whine that she needs the computer to do her assignment and im just playing anyway. what an ass. can't she see that pinball is my way of coping with depression? plus the fact that im nearing the top score. oh no, she can't see it. well, i didnt tell her about the pinball-coping-with-depression, but can't she see the dejectedness on my face? she's so insensitive. she's not only an ass, she's a butt too!

i wish that when she was still an embryo, only her blastopore developed so she will come out of my mother only an ass. an anus. her archenteron and 3 germ layers should'nt have developed.

im mourning for my glasses.

After Great Pain a Formal Feeling Comes

Emily Dickinson

After great pain, a formal feeling comes--
The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs--
The stiff Heart questions was it He, that bore,
And Yesterday, or Centuries before?

The Feet, mechanical, go round--
Of Ground, or Air, or Ought
A Wooden way
Regardless grown,
A Quartz contentment, like a stone--

This is the Hour of Lead--
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow--
First--Chill--then Stupor--then the letting go--

i miss mr. roque. our lit teacher doesnt know how to teach.